On this trip I also spent an evening with my "mom friends" from Albuquerque. These are the women who got me through four years of learning how to parent and mother...talking me through sleepless nights, breastfeeding debacles, and the terrible twos.... Traversing the foreign lands of toddler discipline, marital woes, and weight loss plans (which included running with strollers carrying very heavy cargo). The majority of our time spent together included 4 then 5 then 7 little ones as their families grew. Our conversations were ritually held over cheese sticks and goldfish crackers during our regular playgroups at the local park. Coveted were the "mom's night outs" when we left our children with the dads' and treated ourselves to good wine, yummy food, and great company to laugh about our trials in the world.
Although, I valued these friendships when I lived in Albuquerque, I have a deeper appreciation for them today. Now that I am in a place of relative peace and comfort, where rest is an expected luxury every night and I have both free and available childcare regularly (thanks Mom!), I can look back and recognize the important role that these women played in my development into an adult. I can appreciate what it takes to be a part of a community of tired, restless, cranky mothers who are trying to etch out a meaningful life for themselves between nap times with two-hour trips to the local park. These three women tolerated more complaining and whining from me than probably anyone in my life. They laughed with me as I spent most of 2003 with my upper half soaked in breast milk, talked me through Toby's constant crying when he started daycare, and cried with me when Toby was diagnosed with diabetes in 2005. Each of these women, Amy, Nancy, and Alison, added a deep richness to what, at the time, felt like a mundane existence punctuated by blessed trips to the aquarium and the zoo.
Although I have now moved to another state and only speak to my mom friends every so often, they are each lodged snug in my heart. These women are such valued family for me and as I move into another community making new and wonderful relationships, I hold dear these women who helped me learn to mother my son by mothering me.
As I drove home to Colorado this morning, I felt a deep sadness in leaving behind this community who are carrying on our rituals without me (Art Club, Friday playgroup, etc...). Part of me longed to have the comfort of these friendships and activities close by once again. But, as I keep learning over and over, nothing lasts forever -- we are riding in an ocean of life that churns and crests and is rarely still. So I feel heart-filled gratitude for the gifts that they each shared in showing up for me in a profound way during a critical time of my life.
Here's to you each of you, with deep love and appreciation.
2 comments:
Tears on my keyboard. Love and miss you and your family dearly. Thank you.
Geez...you've made me cry! Had a great time with you and the girls and enjoyed catching up. Hugs to you and the fam.
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